


Bloodlines

by WolfySoul



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura & Shiro (Voltron) Friendship, Allura might end up with two guys, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Assassins & Hitmen, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Minor Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Not Beta Read, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Past Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Slow Burn, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfySoul/pseuds/WolfySoul
Summary: King Alfor of Altea was known as a benevolent ruler. He was wise and kind. He raised Allura to follow in his footsteps. He raised her to be strong, graceful and sage.He always knew that his Allura would marry a worthy individual from a good family. The House of Shirogane was a fierce and deadly family. Yet they were also loyal.King Alfor hoped to unite the bloodlines. There was no formal declaration made nor a contract drawn up, but it was expected. Takashi Shirogane was to marry Princess Allura and unite the houses of Shirogane and Voltron.It was a powerful alliance and one that would present a united front against the Galran Empire. The galra were growing too powerful and contradictory.The young Shirogane and his Allura were in their adolescence, but in eight deca-phoebs the ceremony was to take place. They liked each other enough, always greeted each other warmly. Alfor even suspected Takashi to have something of a crush on Allura.It was a match made in the stars. Unbreakable.No one expected the tragedy that would befall Altea or that Takashi would fall for Yorak Keith Kogane of the House of Marmora. A galra.
Relationships: Allura/Lance (Voltron), Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

Shiro: 8 Allura: 9  
“Lord Takashi, return at once!”  
“Princess Allura, the King and Queen did not raise you to behave this way!”

Shiro and Allura giggle to each other and run back to Sir Iverson. They stop before him, their breathes coming out in pants. They never have time to play like the other children. Shiro’s parents always keep him locked inside and Allura’s parents never let her leave the castle grounds. So they ran out when they had the chance.

“Takashi.” Shiro instantly freezes upon hearing his mother’s voice.

“Lady Akari… forgive me, they simply caught me off guard.” Sir Iverson stammers.  
Shiro’s mom quietens him with a look.

“Come here Takashi… Princess Allura, the Queen is looking for you.”

Shiro’s mom turns to leave without looking back and Shiro trails behind her. He knows she’s angrier at Sir Iverson than she is at Shiro but he still feels like he has to apologize.

“Mom I’m sorry.” He feels terrible.

“Shiro it’s fine. I should’ve known these incompetent castle guards wouldn’t take good care of you. Your aunt arrived this morning. She will be able to look after you properly.”

“But she never lets me go outside!”

“As it should be. The world is a dangerous place Shiro. That is why you should only trust family. I know Princess Allura is your friend, but she is also a princess. She will one day be Queen and… we’ll revisit this conversation when you’re older.”

Shiro’s hears her footsteps pause and he looks up to the doors of one of the castle’s entrances.

“Shiro, one day you’ll understand. Friendships do not last forever, especially when dealing with royals and nobility.”

“But Allura and I are best friends. We…”

“I understand that, but you do not understand me. It is okay, you will in the future.”  
Shiro doesn’t think he’ll ever understand what his mom is trying to say. Allura is his best friend and he doesn’t see how that can change. They’re each other’s only friends.

Time skip: Teens

Years pass and Takashi and Allura are as close as ever. They do not grow apart and they always find time for each other outside of their respective duties. There are prolonged periods of time without contact since the House of Shirogane is not exactly under royal rule but they do not let politics interfere with their friendship, much to the surprise of their parents. It is decided in the minds of the King and Queen, Takashi Shirogane of House Shirogane will marry Princess Allura.

Present (ages 17-18)

There are times that Shiro still doesn’t understand what his mother meant all those years ago. It has been drilled into him time and time again that nothing is more important than blood. Yet Allura has remained his friend for years. He knows she is not doing it to gain his favor like so many others, she is a Princess, if anything he should be attempting to gain her favor. Shiro feels a light thump on his head and slowly uncrosses his arms, lifting his head to look up at whoever touched him.  
“Shiro, what would your family say? I managed to sneak up on you!” Allura’s eyes twinkle with mirth and Shiro groans.  
“My family has a guard watching the guard that is standing outside this door. You know they never leave me unsupervised. I don’t know why, it is not as if I’m the Prince. I am not even the first born!”  
“You come from a family of assassins, that kind of life style generates enemies. Your family has plenty reason to be cautious, and they care for your health.”  
“Don’t start about my health.”  
“I apologize, you know I do not see you as anything less because of… And you are right, you are not the first born. In fact, you are the baby of the family… don’t look at me like that, it’s true! You haven’t heard all of the girls gushing about how they wish they could approach you but are too frightened to go near Lady Akari’s baby…”  
“You, better than anyone, know I cannot put my interest in them.”  
It’s true. Shiro had once fancied himself in love with Princess Allura. During their younger teenage years they had explored. It had actually begun in this very room when they were left to their own devices as their parents discussed matters of the kingdom.

Past (ages 16-17)  
The light is seeping through the window and Shiro feels warm and lazy, content to just rest. Allura has other ideas.  
“Shiro, do you fancy Mistress Emilia?”  
“I don’t even speak with her.”  
“It just seems that when you do happen to converse with her, you are rather, happy.”  
Allura sounds worried and that makes Shiro pause. He doesn’t understand why she cares so much about Emilia. Sure the girl is nice but she’s not Allura. He would never choose her over his best friend.  
“Why? Afraid I’ll choose her friendship over yours?” Shiro says teasingly.  
When Allura doesn’t respond immediately he lifts his head to look at her. She has her bottom lip pinched between her teeth and a crinkle between her eyebrows.  
“Hey, you know I don’t mean it.”  
“Shiro I…” suddenly she surges forward to press her lips against his and he… he moves his mouth back against hers.  
That delves into stolen kisses for the better part of a year. They had wanted to do more, but propriety stopped them. Eventually, they came to the conclusion that they were only together because they were safe. They loved each other sure, but there was no searing passion beyond that. Allura was ready to become a lady, to come into her destiny.  
Shiro had to focus on the standard training regulated by his family.  
So they stopped stealing kisses and nights. Allura began to attend propriety lessons more frequently and Shiro became more immersed with his family’s work.  
There were times Allura felt lonely and she would brush her fingers against her lips in remembrance of her friend. But Allura knew better. Both she and Shiro would find true love, it was just not with each other.

Even so they were each other’s first kiss and however misplaced, love. It is not something Shiro regrets because he does love Allura, she is his best friend.  
“Prince Adam perhaps, I know I saw you getting along very well recently.”

Adam is complicated. Shiro enjoyed his company and they had gotten handsy with each other on more than one occasion. Actually, it was more than that. Shiro got something from Adam that was missing from what he thought he had with Allura. Maybe it was not love yet, but he could see it growing. Yet, they wanted different things in life, and that was the root of many disagreements in their kindling relationship.

“Prince Adam is complicated. He asks for too much. He is a great man but he cannot deal with the reality of my way of life. Besides, I am expected to go on my expedition in the upcoming months. My father and mother are looking forward to my ascension.”

Allura lets out a deep sign and places an arm around Shiro. Shiro leans into her and melts against her side.

“I know that you will be successful in your ascension. You have been studying since your thirteenth year with the best teachers this land has to offer. Your parents may not show it often but they are proud.”

Shiro and Allura share a smile and relax against each other, thoughts in what is to come.  
(Shiro: 18)  
Time passes and the days come closer to when Shiro is to leave. He packs a week before, making sure he has everything that is required and necessary. His older brother, Rai, teasingly helps him and ensures that he is packing everything properly. His sword, clothes, shoes, certain herbs and oils necessary for survival.

Every Shirogane, both male and female, must undergo rigorous training in the Darkwoods. It has been tradition, practiced generation after generation. This is what makes House Shirogane so frightening and efficient. They are all known to be an elite force. It is also why Shiro’s childhood was lacking in friends. Only the royal family and a select few were safe enough and good enough for his father and mother, Hikari and Akari Shirogane. Princess Allura’s constant surveillance was appeasing to his family.

Shiro’s older brothers had already undergone the training and excelled. His oldest brother, Kuro, was a highly skilled assassin and was hardly home, as he was always taking jobs. Rai was also skilled but he chose to stay home more often, which is probably why he and Shiro share a closer bond.

On the night before he is set to leave, Shiro’s family holds a feast with House Erhalten and House Voltron. Shiro’s family takes many jobs off planet. Their high intellect allows them to not only be respectable soldiers, but diplomats as well. Altea is not the only planet they do work in. In fact, Shiro’s family descends from Earth, where House Erhalten resides. Shiro’s Earthen descendants married Alteans, so the current Shiroganes have slightly pointed ears and an affinity for quintessence. None of them have Altean marks. The House of Erhalten is one of those select few that are deeply trusted by the Shiroganes.

Mathew Holt, the eldest child of House Erhalten is a dear friend to Shiro and one he always enjoys talking to. Mathew’s father, Samuel Holt is a well known scientist. When they heard that Shiro was nearing the age required to undergo training they requested to go with him. The Darkwoods are full of dangerous and uncommon creatures. It wards off many from entering, making it the perfect place for the Shiroganes. The geography and creatures provide a challenge while ensuring they will be mostly unbothered. Subsequently, the woods are mostly undiscovered, since most of the people that go in are not interested in documenting what creatures reside in there and the magical properties of everything. The Holts hope to take note of everything they can in the one-year period. 

The absence of information is not due to a shortage of curiosity or lack of attempts. It is due to the vulnerability that the woods give.

Shiro will be accompanied by his father, one of his father’s dearest friends, Dai, the Holts, and two trusted guards of the Holts.

The feast is intended to be a send off. It is not like the usual diplomatic dinners that his parents host. While his mother had been weary of Allura and her family, she has grown fond of House Voltron and all of its inhabitants. House Erhalten is treated like family. The dinner is full of laughs and warm conversation. Recounts of Allura and Shiro’s and Matt and Shiro’s exploits are given. Rai also gives a recount of the time he and Shiro has escaped their guards and tried to bribe their way into a bar. The workers were all well aware of who they were. Their parents had not been amused.

“They recognized you because all of you Shiroganes look alike. Takashi is the spitting image of Lord Hikari.”  
“Samuel, what have I told you about titles? If I am expected to call you by your name, it is only right that you also abide by that rule” Shiro’s father chides.

Lord Samuel chuckles and jokingly remarks that he must now follow the rule as well.

Shiro looks around and smiles. He loves his friends and family.

He does feel a little miserable over the way his relationship with Prince Adam had ended. Adam’s family rules over a small kingdom near Altea. Despite Shiro’s parent’s initial distrust of any outsiders, they grew to love Adam. He is honest, loyal and by the book. His dependability is what drew Shiro to him, but it is also what drew him to Allura. Shiro likes challenges and he likes to live in excitement. Adam may admire his family, but he also has misgivings over their line of work, over the work Shiro is expected to follow.

He and Adam had been together for about a year. During that time their families have grown to accept each other. Yet Shiro knows that Adam and his family were convinced that Shiro would move in with them when… if they had ever made their union official. In the House of Shirogane, that is just not done. No one moves out, and certainly not to another kingdom. Even if he did, Shiro just could not stand to play a perfect house husband. He wants to explore and learn about different cultures and he wants to enjoy the excitement that comes with a life of adventure. Adam does not want that. He wants to rule his peaceful kingdom and stay on castle grounds except for when certain diplomatic meetings require the royal family.

The last time they had spoken replays in his mind.

“Do you have to go to this retreat?” Adam deplores.

“You know that it is more than just a retreat. I have to do this.” Shiro bites back.

“For your family?” Adam walks up to Shiro and looks him straight in the eye. His eyes are hard.

“For myself!” Shiro snaps back. “If I am to ascend I must complete the trials.”

“The Darkwoods are dangerous, you know that. It is a suicide mission.”

“And you know that my family has been training there for generations. I began training after my thirteenth birthday, there is no reason for me to fail. Do you think that just because of my disease…”

“Of course this is what this is about. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone! You have already excelled in your training. You do not have to be Kuro.” Adam lets out a deep sigh but Shiro’s blood simmers.

“This is not about Kuro! I already know that I will never match up to his legacy, or my father’s. I just want… I want everyone to stop looking at me as if my time is limited.”

“That is not why your parents are overly cautious. I heard they were like that with Rai as well and…”

“It has everything to do with my disease! They do not think that I can do it. Every Shirogane has to complete these trials and I will not be the exception, no matter how much you or my parents may wish it. They spoke to me about the possibility of not having to go through with it you know? I am sure that they did none of the sort with Rai or Kuro.” Shiro feels his eyes sting, which just infuriates him more. He is not weak.

“Shiro” Adam sighs, “I love you, but I cannot go through this again. Every time you go off galavanting with your family I worry. And this… if you choose to go, despite the fact that your family offered you a pardon… just do not expect me to be waiting for you when you come back.”

Silence hangs between them as Shiro stares back at Adam defiantly.

“I have a meeting to get to. Some of us have to stay grounded with tedious work.” Adam stares at him, seemingly waiting for him to say something. Shiro stays quiet. “I guess this is it then.”

He stares at Adam’s retreating back, but he does not regret his stance.

A booming laugh brings him back to the present.

“Shiro, you look lost in thought, are you nervous about the excursion?” King Alfor questions.

Shiro forces himself to laugh, “I’m just excited.” He smiles and King Alfor smiles back, seemingly satisfied with his answer. Mentioning Adam is out of the question. King Alfor has always held a dislike for him that Shiro attributes to royal conflict.

Shiro can feel Allura and Matt looking at him in concern so he smiles at them both in assurance. Rai, who is seated beside him, whispers under his breath, “Hey don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine and Adam is a fool for thinking otherwise.”

Shiro grins at him in gratitude and his heart swells. He loves his family and he loves his friends. The cheery conversation around him fills him with warmth and sweeps his worries away. He will undergo his training and ascend as an official member of House Shirogane, having access to all capabilities. There is nothing to worry about and Shiro anticipates a stimulating future.


	2. Chapter 2

The day that Takashi Shirogane is set to leave comes and goes. House Erhalten and House Shirogane see them off. The expedition is always a year long. It can go on a few more days but never less. While Shiro himself is supposed to be completely removed from society, his companions are required to report on his progress. The Holts report their findings to their laboratory.

Three months in, all of the reports stop. Both House Shirogane and House Erhalten repeatedly attempt to make contact to no avail. House Voltron gets involved and a search party is sent out. The Shiroganes themselves expel a group to raid the woods for their missing relatives. They find nothing.

After six months, House Voltron calls off the search parties. House Shirogane is furious but they must follow their own codes. They cannot afford to waste so many resources, and no exceptions are made. Katherine Holt of House Erhalten is beside herself with grief and vows to find her missing relatives. She grows angry and resentful of House Voltron and its royal family in correspondence. She begins to spend all of her time with House Shirogane, thinking that only they understand her grief.

Princess Allura grieves alone. Then, three months later, the galra attack. The King and Queen are gravely injured and become bed-ridden. Thoughts of searching for the missing Shiroganes and Holts disappear. There is a war and all attention must be devoted to it.

The Shiroganes become harbingers of death, working out their anger and sorrow. Princess Allura becomes obsessed with winning the war. Empires are destroyed and millions are killed. Alliances are broken and betrayal becomes expected. Only House Voltron, House Shirogane and House Erhalten stand strong together.

Later, even that alliance becomes brittle. King Alfor and Queen Melenor die. Princess Allura, for there is no time to undergo a coronation, becomes manic in her drive to best the Galra. No one questions her rule with the backing of House Shirogane. Yet House Shirogane and House Voltron become distant. They fight the same battles and they fight for the same cause, but what similarities does an a family of assassins have with a raving young woman. House Erhalten retreats most noticeably. Colleen and Katherine Holt, still grieving their head of the household and the next in line, retreat from the fight almost entirely, only sending aid. They are almost never seen in public or by anyone except for the Shiroganes.

The Galra’s leadership is irrational and maniacal. King Zarkon’s demands are unreasonable. Rumors of Queen Honerva’s experimentations make people shudder. Then, a rebel group is able to cause an explosion in Zarkon’s ship. By pure luck, it hits Zarkon and he is bed-ridden. Prince Lotor returns from exile, and takes over. He talks of peace.

Rumors arise. Whispers of the Champion, a legendary gladiator, an Altean with no marks: Takashi Shirogane. Reports of his disappearance from captivity, just when his family was zeroing in on his location.

Once again overcome with sorrow, Kuro Shirogane himself leads the mission to assassinate Zarkon.

All forces are rallied and with sacrifice, they win. Zarkon is killed, and through the Kral Zera, Prince Lotor takes the throne. Queen Honerva disappears. A marriage alliance is drawn up to appease both kingdoms. Altea wins with much lost. Princess Allura is to marry Prince Lotor, who after their coronations, are to be King and Queen.

House Erhalten completely retreats from the world. House Shirogane becomes reclusive except for when they takes jobs.  
Princess Allura is all alone, and missing her best friend more than ever.

A noble house among the Galra, House Marmora, comes out as a secret rebel force. They are praised for their fight against terror.

A year later, Takashi Shirogane is found. He is alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to update this sooner but I had exams so time just really got away from me. That being said, I hope you enjoy this!


	3. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old friends meet again.

“Your Majesty, Lord Takashi has been found!”

Allura feels her heart stop and the blood leave her face. She’s numb and unbelieving.

“Queen Allura, are you not eager to see him?”

Those words snap Allura out of whatever denial her mind had been set in. She stands to attention and sets her jaw.

“Take me to him.”

*****

Shiro’s head aches and the pounding in it is not helping matters. He hears voices, shouting for him. He tries to open his eyes but immediately closes them against a harsh light. Instantaneously, hands grab at him but he lets his mind go under once more.

When he finally wakes, the pounding is gone but the ache is not. He opens his eyes to a white walls. His brother, Rai, rests in a cushioned chair. He blinks.

“Rai...” his voice is barely audible but by some intuition Rai turns. His eyes widen. In the next second Shiro is being squeezed by his brother and he feels tears against his neck.

“Takashi! We were so worried, I... where were you?” 

“I don’t remember. I can’t... I can’t remember anything... I”  
His machine begins beeping alarmingly and other people, doctors and nurses, trickle in.

“Lord Rai we need you to step back. He is in distress.”  
The rest of their words fade out as Shiro’s vision swims. He can’t breathe.

He feels something sharp pierce his left arm. The pain is grounding and seems to stabilize his pounding heart.

Once his vision stops swimming and he can almost painlessly open his eyes, he does so to the harsh light of the room once more.

This time, the room is occupied by more than just Rai and the doctors. His mother and Kuro stand before him. He stares at them and they back at him before his mother’s face crumbles and she rushes to him. It is when he attempts to lift his arms to hug her back that he realizes something. His right arm has been replaced by an alien metal.

“Mom…”  
“Shhh, shhh, don’t speak, just…” her shoulders shake and she squeezes him tighter. Shiro buries his face in her shoulder and holds on.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to the tear-stained face of Kuro. Seeing him so vulnerable just makes Shiro sob harder.

It feels as if they stay like that for an eternity but soon his mother soon pulls away.

“Mother, I don’t understand. My arm…”  
“We will talk about this tomorrow. Rai told us of your memory affliction. Right now it is best that you rest. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

Shiro tries to smile at his mother but it falls flat. She holds his hand and squeezes.

“Rest.” Shiro closes his eyes and does just that.

*****

When Allura enters Shiro’s room, he is fast asleep. His family is resting in chairs around him. Akari Shirogane is the first to see her.

“Your majesty, what a pleasure to see you” she intones emotionlessly.

“Lady Akari please, we were family once.”

“For my son’s sake, we will play at family once more.”

Allura inclines her head. She may be Queen but the Shiroganes hold tremendous power, especially for their part in the Galra defeat. She is thankful that they are loyal and not power hungry snakes like some other Houses. Instead of making a play for the crown they chose to retreat from society, and from her. Now that Shiro has returned, they may be the close allies they once were.

But that is a matter for another day. The only thing of importance right now is the recovery of her oldest friend.

“How is he?”

“He appears to have no recollection of his time away. His right arm has been replaced by Galran technology and... magic.”

“Haggar played a part in his capture?”

“It appears so. As you can see he also has a jagged scar above his nose, likely inflicted by a blade or a... muzzle” her lips curl in disgust “it is deep enough.”

“And his hair?”

“The doctors think it has to do with the stress of his trauma. Even his teeth were modified. The only good thing to come out of this is that Takashi’s disease is seemingly gone.”

“Lady Akari, your family wishes to hear an update on Lord Takashi and your clients on your assignments.” A messenger for the Shiroganes stands in the doorway, wearing their colors, black and purple.

Lady Akari sighs and turns back to Allura.

“Take this as the first bridge to the deep trust our houses once shared. I will leave Takashi in your care while I am gone. Kuro will be coming with me but Rai will stay here. We will be back before the day is over.”

She inclines her head and leaves the room. Kuro follows her lead but not before staring at his brother’s unconscious form and then eyeing her.

Allura is glad that Kuro is leaving. His cold demeanor always unsettled her but she knows he cares about his brothers deeply. Shiro was always in awe of Kuro and believed him to be unapproachable. Allura never told him about the time Kuro pulled her aside and threatened her not to hurt his brother’s heart. At the time she had been affronted, but she quickly grew appreciative of his way of caring. She was sure he saved his brother much heartbreak from some of the more treacherous lords and ladies.

After their departure she turns to Rai and he nods at her in greeting before returning to his tablet. She sits in a chair near Shiro’s bed and stares at him.

He has a deep scar above his nose, it is long and must have been extremely painful. The hair that is overgrown slightly in the front, his usual style, is white. He looks muscular, more defined, no longer a lanky teenage boy. His right arm has been replaced by metal. She wonders how that happened. Even so, sleeping, he still looks as beautiful as he always did. She is reminded of how young he still is to have gone through so much, how young she is. It brings a pain to her chest.

After her quiet assessment she remembers something Lady Akari had said.

“Rai, what did your mother mean when she mentioned Shiro’s teeth?”

Rai looks at her with a grimace.

“His teeth are sharper. It’s like he has fangs, like a...”

“Like a Galra.” Allura’s stomach sinks and she is reminded that Shiro has not only been captured by the Galra but that Haggar specifically had detained him. Suddenly the rumors of Haggar’s experimentations no longer feel so laughable. Rai must read her expression.

“The doctors are scanning him for signs of genetic modification. His arm was fused with Galran technology so something in his DNA must have been compatible.”

“They are despicable” Allura feels like crying but she forces herself to keep the tears at bay.

“So you see then, why my family is unsure of your alliance with Prince Lotor.”

“He is King now.”

“Right, King Lotor. Queen Allura, you know I hold you in high regard, and out of respect for my brother, the majority of my family was never outspoken about their disagreement with your marriage.”

“Except for Lord Kuro.”

“Can you blame him? Takashi, our most treasured member, and our father, the head of the household, were kidnapped by the Galra. When the Marmora told us of Takashi’s enslavement my brother lost it. It certainly did not help matters that my little brother was used as the witch’s personal project.”

“I understand your distrust of the Galra, but Lotor is not like them. He is half Altean and wishes to know more about our culture. Zarkon only wanted to conquer worlds and destroy cultures.”

“He is still their son.” He says it gently and as Allura looks him in the eyes she realizes he is not trying to fight with her. He is truly worried about her.

“Thank you, Rai, but until he gives me a reason not to trust him, Lotor will remain my husband, and he will remain King.”

Rai nods and turns to look at his brother. Allura to watches him and they sit in stilted silence.

After what feels like hours Shiro begins to stir. Rai had stepped out to make a call after Allura heavily reassured him that she’d look after Shiro.

When Shiro opens his eyes, Allura feels as if she has been punched in the abdomen. Those stormy grey eyes seek hers out and widen.

“Allura” he says in awe.

Allura falls on him in shuddered sobs. Completely unbecoming of a queen but she doesn’t care. For the first time since the death of her parents, since the war started, she feels at peace. Her best friend is home once again.

*****

Allura tells Shiro about the war, about the death of her parents and about the aftermath of his disappearance. She does not tell him of her marriage with Lotor. Some time during her narrative Rai comes back into the room. He catches her eye and nods at her before leaving the room, as if to say go on.

Shiro does not say much. He is responsive in that he nods at the appropriate times and makes the odd remark. Other than that, he is quiet. He does not talk of his experience.

Allura understands that his experiences must have been painful, but she cannot help feeling slightly hurt that he does not tell her what happened.

So she gives him time. Perhaps she gives him too much time and that is why a divide grows between them. By the time she wakes up enough to try to rectify the distance, it is much too late.

*****

As promised, the following day is full of questioning. It is a distressing situation once everyone realizes that Shiro really does not remember anything useful. Most troubling, he has no recollection of what happened to his father or anyone else. Kuro storms out after that.

Shiro feels useless and guilty. Why did he survive? Why can he not remember anything, anything to help his family?

Shiro remembers being imprisoned by the Galra but that is all.

His doctors recommend that he see a magical specialist that can uncover the memories. His family turns down the idea at first but then accedes that it is probably for the best. The only issue is that they do not trust anyone enough to do it. But that is a lie. There is someone they trust powerful enough and familiar enough with Shiro’s particular quintessence to be able to pull it off. Allura.

They hold off for two months. In that time Shiro gets flashes of memories trying to resurface and it has a harrowing effect on his health.

*****  
Allura does not know why Shiro is being so distant. She does not know what happened to him in those two years that he was lost. She does not know anything and it is impeding her ability to be the ruler that Altea needs.

Shiro and Lotor have yet to meet. When Lotor knew of Shiro’s reappearance he was oddly eager to meet him. However, the Shiroganes have kept Shiro sequestered from society and even she rarely sees him.

She does not even know if Shiro knows she is married to the former prince of the Galra, and if he does not, she does not know how to tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably add a tag for slow updates because time is not on my side! I can't make any promises but I will try to write more. I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is tired of being locked up.

Even though he has been protected from the reactions of outsiders, the expressions of his own family members are enough.

They look at him full of pity and if not pity, then they are wary.

What did he go through? Where is Hikari? Where are the Holts? Why did only he return? Why did he survive?

He can read the questions in their expressions but sometimes he doesn’t need to. He hears them talking, whispering to one another when they think he’s not paying attention, “lost in his own world” as they say.

Shiro cannot remember anything, but he cannot move on. He has nightmares and he hates being hidden away. He wants to go outside, to get a breath of fresh air and get away from this house full of critical expressions.

He expresses these desires and gets shut down, hard.

“Mother please, I can no longer just stay in that room. I just want to go outside.”

“Takashi, you must understand that right now is not the time to be out. You are not well enough yet.” He wants to tear his hair out in frustration.

“What is going on here?” Kuro demands.

Shiro closes his eyes and sighs. He knows that Kuro, more so than his mother, will never let him go outdoors.

“Takashi wants to go outside for whatever reason. And I refuse to allow this.” Akari crosses her arms and gives him a stern look.

“It will only be for a few minutes.” Shiro pleads.

“Everyone is busy right now and we cannot trust a random guard.” Kuro steps further into the room and mirrors their mother’s stance.

“And you can’t trust me alone?” Shiro presses.

“Takashi, you have amnesia. You are in another world most of the time. For heavens’ sake you can’t even remember what happened to father!”

Shiro feels as if a bucket of cold water has been dumped over him but Kuro is not finished.

“None of this would have happened if you had just taken the pardon.”

“Kuro that is enough!” Their mother’s voice is shrill.

“It’s what everyone is thinking! We were all worried over this trip before everything went wrong. When communications stopped… we just didn’t expect Shiro to be the one to…” He stops as if suddenly realizing the meaning of his words.

Survive.

“Takashi, that’s not what I…” he lets out a deep breath.

Shiro raises a hand. He knows exactly what he meant.  
Shiro looks at his mother but she is avoids his gaze. That tells Shiro all that he needs to know.

He makes his voice as cold as he can but he knows the hurt seeps through.

“I know that I am not who you expected to see so I will not make you have to look at me and see a reminder of what you lost. I will talk to Allura and after that I will take the job with Uncle Asahi.” He turns to leave.

“It is too dangerous still and you are definitely not in the right frame of mind for this.”

“I’m just going to talk to her, that’s it.” He continues forward until he feels hands grasp his arm. The flesh one.

“Look, after you see Allura, just come back and we will talk about this.” Kuro’s voice is pleading but Shiro is done listening.

Shiro nods and Kuro sighs but lets him go. Their mother is silent.

Outside the sun is falling and the wind is cutting.

Shiro steps out into the cold evening.

*****

Night is falling and Allura embraces the quiet that comes with it. The constant commotion of people coming in and out of the palace’s walls to converse with her was getting to be too much so she is glad that she can now rest. Well, rest as much as she can with overwhelming thoughts about Shiro’s seemingly worsening condition.

His disease is gone and Allura is thankful. Yet it is obvious the price was much too high. If only he would let her help. He is still too vulnerable to have her dig in his mind for his memories and she knows that is why the Shiroganes have been stalling despite their yearning to know more about what happened to Hikari.

Feeling helpless in this area, she lets her thoughts drift to her husband. The majority of the people of Altea have been handling the presence of their new king with grace, yet some anti-galra groups lurk in the shadows and attempt to cause dissent.

Lotor is currently in a call with the ruling family of Daibazaal. The House of Marmora had won the support of the people, especially after Kolivan had won the Kral Zera. Lotor had been expected to rule the galra, but one of the stipulations of their arrangement had been that he live in Altea as a gesture of good faith. He has only brought four guards with him, Axca, Ezor, Zethrid, and Narti. Allura finds them unsettling at times but she trusts Lotor. Thankfully, House Marmora is one of the houses that fought against Zarkon and harbors no ill will towards Altea or any of its allies, that they know of.

“Allura.” She looks up and takes in the sight of her old friend. 

Sweat is dropping down his face and his chest is rising and falling noticeably, his breaths coming out in quick bursts. It is so unlike what she remembers of him, always trying to be strong enough for the both of them. He never would have let her see him break down so obviously. Even when they were younger, even when they reunited, he did not break.

“Shiro, what happened? Are you okay?” He just stares at her before seeming to startle out of whatever was going through his head. He grabs her arms roughly and she sucks in a breath. His grip is strong, and just shy of too tight.

“I need you to do it.” She is immediately alarmed. There is no question as to what he means by ‘it.’ ‘It’ is something that they had been avoiding.

“You know you need proper preparation for that. If you want to start easing your mind into it now, I’d be happy to help.”

“No, no more waiting. I can’t stand the way everyone looks at me, the way my family looks at me.”

“Shiro, please, we need to wait, this will only hurt you.”

“I need to know how my father died.”

“Hikari may not be dead. We just do not know.”

“He is. I can feel it and so can my family. That is why they haven’t been rushing to do this.” Feel it in that the Shiroganes have a unique ability to bond within their bloodline and so she believes Shiro when he says what he does. Something in her twists to know that Akari had kept this from her. So much for being family.

Still she stays silent.

“Allura please.” He sounds desperate. She hates to see him like this.

“Okay” she whispers.

She lifts her eyes and watched as he kneels before her, head tilted down. He knows how this works. Allura gently places her hands on either side of his head and closes her eyes.

She can see his muscles tighten as he steels himself.

“This will be easier if you relax.”

At this she can see Shiro make an effort to unclench his muscles.

She begins the process.

At first she meets resistance but she pushes through, trying to overcome his mental block.  
She sees images, images of his capture, of the Holt’s capture. They’re taken to a camp. She sees the moment that Hikari is stricken. Shiro kneels behind him, bound with shackles as Hikari’s body hits the floor. She sees Shiro cry out. Someone reaches out and kneels before Shiro, blocking her view, but she hears the words “This is what happens when you don’t obey. If you want to stay alive you will fight for us, or you will be killed by us. Honerva likes you, if you win your first fight, we’ll give him a proper burial.”  
Allura sees how distraught Shiro is but she also sees the way that those words steel him. A proper burial is of utmost importance to a family like Shiro’s. She sees him win his first fight, and the next one and the next one. And she sees him become someone unrecognizable. When they take him to Honerva for his so called upgrade, the images stop. Again, she tries to push through but she can hear Shiro’s faint screams, and she feels she has seen enough. She releases him.

Shiro kneels before her, hair wet and face down, “Why did you stop?”

“You were in too much pain.” He looks up at her and she gasps, quintessence is coming out of his eyes, like tears.

He looks down again and she finally realizes that his hair has whitened further.

“Shiro, you hair, it’s white.”

She doesn’t know what to do. Everything’s she’s seen, it’s all so horrible and she wants to hold him in her arms and cry. But Shiro is a different person now, she doesn’t know if he’d welcome such open affection from her. Not when this is the first they’ve talked in months.

“Now we know what happened to the Holts and my father. I need you to notify House Erhalten and my family about what happened. I am going to take a mission with my uncle, we will be working in Daibazaal and I will find someone else to take care of my mental block. I need to know how I escaped.” 

“You are not in the right state of mind to make a decision like this!”

“I made this decision before I came to see you, theres nothing I have to say to my family and I am not going back just so they can shame me for not being able to save my father.  
“They wouldn’t do that. You need to stay here so you can heal and then we can try to remove the block again, I am not letting you leave like this.” 

“No one has to let me do anything. I am an adult and none of you own me. I know the real reason you didn’t continue is because you didn’t want to see when they turned me into the ones you hate. I know you claim to trust and love your husband, but you need to check your prejudice against his people. Just because he has the features of an Altean doesn’t mean he’s not a galra, he was raised as one. Just because I have claws and fangs doesn’t mean I’m not still me. If you really wanted to see me you would have sought me out, how many times did we sneak around as teenagers? Stop lying to yourself and to me. I will be going to Daibazaal to help my uncle and understand the people you claim to support.”

He’s looking at her with hard eyes and she feels something squeeze her heart.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I do trust Lotor but you cannot expect me to blindly trust the same people that rallied behind Zarkon. Even the Marmora were behind him before this war started. Zarkon’s hatred didn’t just start when the war did. He had Lotor exiled for a reason. I understand that you’re under emotional duress but you are out of line.” She hates this. She hates speaking to Shiro of all people like this but she has to stand strong. His face twists up.

“I think this is the third time you mention my so called instability. I will be going now. Send King Lotor my regards.” She lets him go.

*****

When Shiro leaves Allura lets her emotions out. She sobs into her hands and tries to dispel all of the hurt. Seeing Shiro’s memories had hurt her, but their following argument made it worse. 

She stays on the floor for what feels like hours, thinking. There was some truth to Takashi’s words. She does harbor some ill feelings towards the galra and maybe, seeing the imprint of what the galra did to Shiro made her leave him alone. Maybe that is why she decided to give him so much space. But he is also wrong. Lotor has proven himself, in more ways than one, and she does trust him.  
Her head and her heart hurt, and she just wishes she could talk to someone. But there is no one she can talk to. While she trusts him, Lotor just wouldn’t understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how people come up with titles. It's too much pressure really. Note, it may seem weird that Allura gives in to Shiro too easily when he wants his memories back but you must understand that she just wants to make things right between them. Obviously things don't go the way she'd like. If Shiro doesn't meet Keith in the next chapter it will be the chapter after that!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first fic so bear with me! Updates will probably be slow as I am busy but I do hope to complete this fic. I hope you enjoy. Feel free to leave comments!


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